Monday 23 May 2011

Serendipity square



Serendipity Square:

(note: this article was written a year ago, however i could never complete it. today it might seem out of context , but this was one kept me alive during some dark days)




If you have the time, come walk with me, I will take you to my favorite haunt. It’s little off the crowded wall streets where the prim and proper slither around in their killer stiletto’s, well past the buzzing alleys with Chinese soup smell, past the ghetto of “nazi -an refugee” look a-likes, a mile away from the noise and clutter, the chatter and the confusion.


I know the name sounds pretty fake, but please rest your fears. You are in safe hands; I will lead you there. A place where once you reach, you will have no doubts whatsoever. There are no boards, which hoot, “ Welcome to Serendipity Square!” Our destination is marked by an imaginary milestone, where you feel so very calm and in commune with yourself. And when I see a new smile framing your face ;I will let you know that we have arrived.


I must warn you that first looks might not impress you. But I will urge you to wait and just take a whiff of the air. The intriguing aroma of life here, hits you so hard, you feel unstable for a second, and then like an addict you know this was what you were craving for, for so long.


Serendipity Square is this place of tranquil that I have found amidst the maddening crowds. Sometimes, I just have so much time that it entangles me in its tentacles, and make’s my latent analytical neurons fire and charge. And as I start thinking, one thought leads to another, and thus I keep getting lost in space and time.


I glide past events, take relays in and out of memory lanes, ponder into those moments in the deepest sulci of my brain. Sometimes I get enough strength to open up those forbidden Pandora boxes which I have stealthily hidden . And thus having set out so far from my start point I get lost, in the web that my thoughts have woven around me and its so icky at times that I get stuck, or even maybe move around in concentric circles.


You will agree that, sometimes thinking and rationalizing with yourself, ironically doesn’t give solutions, but makes confusions deeper. And for me it is in those moments that I need the space and the calm to smoothen those creases that ornament my forehead, to heal those hurt cords, so that peace will be restored in my battlefield mind.


Thus, when I am in one of those estranged situations; all I want is to leave the blitzkrieg of life behind me and run to this point of solace. I sit here, on these old stone benches and watch life and time pass by. No thinking, no unending arguments in my head. Life just in “pause mode”, muted for a while, till I regain my calm. And thus as I watch the game from the sidelines, things appear clearer, a different perspective, and sometimes, my mind even surprises me with some solutions.




And yet there are those some other times, when I have no issues to deal with, no problems to solve, no answers to deliver, then I just let my mental reel playback in random sequences. Some things catch my attention as they flash past. Some others appear repeatedly, in diverse forms; but a few, they just linger on. And about them I pause, ponder and think, and they bring many a grin to my face.


And looking back, the one thing, which I have spent so much time thinking about is, about love. Many a times I have marveled, sometimes I have despised, I have even occasionally challenged its existence and perhaps scorned it also. However, I am sure I am not the only one who feels so vividly about love. However, on a normal day, the four-lettered word is absolutely magical. The very thought of it makes u feel warm, puts a smile on your face, gives u this feeling of belonging. It drives your head into a paranormal intermingling of thoughts, memories and perhaps emotions. Perhaps, even makes you shed a tear.


Looking at the dynamics, of this mystic emotion. It is amazing, how love works. Although sometimes it appears so static, it is so very kinetic. It literally drives you. And as high as it can lift you up, it can crash you also, with an added negative “G” to its momentum!


But what jarrs me most is, how, despite getting hurt over and over again, people still find it in them to bind their wounds and pick up themselves and start all over again afresh. How they never loose faith in love or its capabilities. And I think it’s this invested quality of human beings, which makes them indestructible and undefeatable. Somehow it is even true that when you have lost the ability to love, you are almost dead.


They say time heals everything. Although that is true, the ugly scars always remain even after light years and they even come back to haunt you. But true love, it heals every ghoulish, pus -oozing macabre wound, and true to its promise, always without leaving stray marks. It erases every rancid memory, all of the molding and fungating thoughts in our brains; it brings you back from the undead, and breathes into you a whole new gush of breath and makes you so absolutely reborn. And it is only when all the old slates our wiped out, all the dramatic slow motion haunting pictures are taken off our mental wall; we start living again with a whole new gusto to life.


Although, the double-edged ness of love has been debated and discussed down the ages, yet it still sparkles with the same newness doesn’t it? Yes, I am coming to the million-dollar question, “ So do u believe in love?” Yesterday, I would have been really curious to know your reply, to know why or why not, to argue and rebuttal with you on the topic because even I have had my share of the bitter sweet escapades of love. I would have even tried convincing you to wear your protective harness before venturing into the furnace of love, before its warmth burns you and finally chars you.








Today, however I am not even going to ask u and I would sincerely pity you if you were going to smirk reading this and mentally note, “ Who believes in love anyways!”. Today is about a tale that I want to tell you. Its not a love story, but a story about love. Although marred by the scars of a bad relationship I had not completely shut out my heart to the healing power of love. I had debated within myself, the classical wars between the head and the heart was over, and mentally I had decided it was safer to stay away from the tentacles of love. However my heart knew that if I were lost in the darkness searching for love then only I would be found only through true love.


And it was one of those days; I was sitting by the pool created by my tears. Serendipity Square was desolate, it was unusually quiet. My mind was pretty numb. And when prospective thinking had ceased, some very old reels started playing in my head. It took me back to a time somewhere long before I lost the innocence of childhood.


It was a time when I was fascinated by the principles of serendipity, and even though I had traveled quiet a distance from there I had kept the idea close to my heart. I sincerely believed in the concept of true love and more importantly I believed that it was only serendipitously that you would reach there, it was not planned or purported. I believed that love is such a true and pure feeling that was beyond our understanding, and the numerous permutations and combinations that we do to attain a successful relationship would never match up to the beauty when we let destiny take over and love happen.


I have been in and out of alleged “love” and its hurt my heart more than anything else. Yet I so deeply believe that I have been with all the wrong people and there is that one prince in shining armor waiting for me somewhere, my very own personal highway man somewhere in those thickets and when he sees me, then all those doubts will vanish and all the pain will fade.


And that day love will be a winner.

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